A great deal of Meaningful Differences is devoted to analyzing the data collected by Hart and Risley as they explored the homes of the 42 children studied. In chapter seven, the importance of the first three years is discussed. One statistic spoke not only to the number of words used during a child's first three years, but also to the tone and content. Among the professional families, 80% of all feedback given to the child was positive. Among the working class families, 50% was positive. Conversely, among the welfare families, 80% of the feedback was negative.
Thinking about the common trends in peer relations I see in my own classroom, this really hits home. When the tone of language is factored into the amount of language used, is it any wonder that there is such a gap? Are parents and children more likely to speak more frequently when conversations and exchanges are more positive? Is the frequence of negative interactions possibly the key to why such less language and vocabulary is used?
Rebekah-
ReplyDeleteI think you bring up a very interesting point about the difference between affirmations and prohibitions from parents. I often find that my parents are never saying anything positive to their children. They walk into my classroom, sign out their child, and walk away. When they do talk to their children, they are telling them to zipper their coat, to hurry up, or to tell their teacher goodbye. I never see parents asking their children what they did in school today, or complementing them on the work they show them. It is rare that they engage in positive interactions, at least in my presence. And while something completely different could be occurring at home, and more positive talk could be occurring, it doesn’t seem likely. I see the looks on my students’ faces when I tell them I’m proud of them, or when I ask them a question about their work. It’s almost as if no one has ever spoken a positive thing to them in their life! It is extremely disheartening. I think that you are right, how can we even question where this gap in language is coming from. I can only imagine how things for my students would be different if their parents simply talked in a positive tone to them and let them talk back. It makes me really think about the importance of having positive conversations with students. And since I’m not certain that my students are getting these positive conversations and interactions at home, I can only try harder to make them happen while they are at school!
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ReplyDeleteThe topic discussed here acknowledges the differences in communication styles and how that translates into language and vocabulary. I have witnessed similar incidents that Jamie has already mentioned and believe that the question linking negative interactions with decreased use of language is very interesting. I have witnessed students who use very few words when interacting with me and their peers. It is very difficult to get them to express a thought in a full sentence or to use words other than happy, sad, or mad to describe their feelings. I believe that their personal struggles with expressing themselves comes from a lack of awareness of other ways to express themselves. More importantly, I believe it comes from a lack of exposure to different words used to describe different emotions. For my students, I hope to help them realize the value and different ways that they can communicate with me and each other.
ReplyDelete-Michelle
This topic is so interesting to me. By this point in the year, I have started to notice how similar the tone, volume, and content of the words my students choose to use every day reflect the tone, volume and content of the words their parents use. I know that in my class I can do my best to model calm responses, low voices, and polite requests and conversations. But, when a parent barges into the school cussing up a storm in their child's face, threatening to beat the kid's face in, I have to forgive my students a little for believing that kind of language is appropriate in school and with their peers. It's an uphill battle. Still, I often wonder how difficult it must be for many of my students' parents, who work when their kids are home, and are at home when their kids are at school. When they do see their children, maybe they're exhausted and short-tempered, maybe there are too many kids around to model the patience we expect of our students. Maybe, that's why my students call out all the time for attention, whether it is positive or negative.
ReplyDeleteThe point seems right on, and is certainly reflected in my classroom almost exactly as in those classrooms mentioned in the original post and in the subsequent posts. I also agree with nearly all the comments made above. I would like to add one point though. I have noticed that negative tone words tend not to require as much creativity or thought as positive tone words and dialogue do. Put simply, negative tone words are limiting by their usage within the English vocabulary and positive tone words lean to further creativity. Positive tone words spawn more words and open up the dictionary to our students.
ReplyDeleteI had a discussion with my third graders about first impressions. We were talking about shaking hands and looking someone in the eye as signs of respect and confidence. I was using this lesson to help us build classroom community, and I was hoping to impart some knowledge for when they look for jobs sometime in their life. The discussion lead to first impressions. My students responded that they know when someone has a good education because the person is well mannered. One student raised her hand and said that she knew I was well educated because I acted like a lady and had nice manners even when I was upset about something a coworker was doing. This comment surprised me because I try to hide my frustrations from them especially if it involves other people... but let's be honest, they know us all too well by this point in the year. Anyway, the conversation became a moment of aha for many of my students because they understood that the way you talk directly effects the way people around you respond to you. I hear the occasional shut up said to one another, but more frequently not I hear a nice, "Ms. B., may I please get upt o get a tissue?" We truly are the best models for our children... especially because we spend so much time with them. I encourage you all to have conversations with your students about what manners me and how they respond to each other. It opened my eyes and their eyes... they are always watching you.
ReplyDeleteThis was an excellent post, and the comments are equally as eye-opening. I agree with everything everyone said above. I just wanted to add my two-cents, which may be (hopefully not) repetitive.
ReplyDeleteWhile we are talking about the way our parents speak to their kids, I would also suggest that its not only the way they speak, but also the way they nonverbally communicate wit their children. I say this with a specific thought in mind: since day one, the way the boys treat the girls at my school appalls me. Not only verbally, but physically as well.
I thought, well, maybe it's just the school culture. Maybe it's just this one group of friends. Maybe the guys are just joking.
I was wrong. They keep doing and saying the most ridiculous things to girls (think: smelling the girls, random whistling/staring at them, etc). Then one day I went to a boys basketball game. I saw, for the first time, why the boys acted this way. Far too many of the grown men in the gym - fathers, brothers, uncles - acted the same way to their wives/friends!
I guess this shouldn't be surprising - we all know that our parents make us who we are - but I just wanted to point out that it is not only the language that matters, but the way we act in front of our kids.